Can You Have an Eating Disorder Even If You Don't Look Sick?
Many people delay seeking help because they believe they don't "look sick enough" to have an eating disorder. They compare themselves to stereotypes they've seen in movies, social media, or even treatment center websites, but these mediums do not accurately portray the wide array of eating disorders that actually exist.
Many people believe eating disorders only affect people who are in a smaller or underweight body (don't love the term underweight, but more on that another time...). But the truth is that eating disorders occur in people of all body sizes, ages, genders, and backgrounds. In fact, several eating disorder diagnoses don't mention weight at all.
One of the most painful consequences of this misconception is that many people spend years questioning whether they are "sick enough" to deserve or need help. They may dismiss their struggles because they don't look the way they think someone with an eating disorder is supposed to look. As a result, they spend years struggling and becoming more entrenched in their eating disorder instead of getting the support they need to move toward recovery.
Eating disorders are not defined by appearance. You cannot tell if a person has an eating disorder, or how symptomatic they are, by looking at them. Eating disorders are defined by the impact they have on a person's physical health, emotional well-being, relationships, and quality of life.
I also want to note that there are real health risks associated with eating disorder behaviors regardless of a person's body size. Restriction, binge eating, purging, compulsive exercise, and chronic dieting can affect the body in a variety of ways, including energy levels, concentration, digestion, hormones, electrolyte balance, heart health, and overall functioning. There are serious medical risks associated with eating disorder behaviors that can occur at any body size.
So when might a person consider seeking therapy for an eating disorder or disordered eating?
Some signs that your relationship with food may be causing distress include:
Constant thoughts about food: what to eat, when to eat, where to eat, and how much to eat.
Feeling like your mind has a full-time job of calculating calories and weight.
Feeling intense guilt or shame after eating.
Avoiding social events, restaurants, vacations, or celebrations because food is involved.
Feeling stuck in a cycle of trying to "be good" with food, only to end up overeating or feeling out of control.
Exercising primarily to "earn" food or compensate for what you've eaten.
Using vomiting, laxatives, or other behaviors in an attempt to undo eating.
Spending so much time thinking about food, weight, or your body that it's taking away from the life you want to be living.
Feeling like your relationship with food or your body is interfering with your quality of life.
You do not need to wait until your symptoms worsen or your body changes to deserve support. If your relationship with food, eating, exercise, or body image is causing distress, that alone is enough reason to reach out for support.
Recovery is possible, and support is available at every stage of the process.
If you're struggling with food, eating, exercise, or body image concerns, I provide eating disorder therapy for teens and adults in Monmouth County and throughout New Jersey via telehealth. I invite you to reach out for a free 15-minute consultation to see if we're a good fit.